Whores will have their trinkets.

Ok. Maybe time for an actual diary entry. Last night was a work night, first week back after being sick, and, without wanting to trip into the melodramatic, it excelled in its averageness. No strong negatives about it and a smattering of mild positives. It perked up a bit at the end when a friend I don't see as much as I liked insisted on my company for an hour or so, so in the great marking system of life I'll give the night a C+, maybe a B. Good, but not in the top ten or anything.

Then today was more of the same really, productive but not ground-breaking, a few frustrations but mostly just plugging away. Then out for a few hours. We go out because it has more potential than staying in, but strangely once out I stop thinking about why I was motivated to be there and slip into a safer world of routine and avoidance. Maybe that's something to work on this weekend, after all, anything can happen in a weekend.

I'm not so happy with this blog, it lacks in much point and isn't particularly readable on any level, but I'm glad I had the discipline to do it, hopefully I'm at the bottom of a mountain rather than on a dried up river bank. We'll see.

Law of Averages.

There's gonna be more than a few days in life where you wake up, for whatever reason, feeling like you just want to stay in bed, maybe make a few sarcastic comments on the internet, but beyond that not really get involved in the day.

If on those days you can find yourself spending time with 3 different sets of friends, who all ask for your company, and while with each set end up talking to people orbiting the situation. You can't help but feel reassured that it really is worth getting out of bed each day. No matter what else, small or large,  happens when you do take that risk.

It's easy to forget.

You have to write a diary every day I thought. It's the only way you'll get back into practice at it I thought. Doesn't matter if nothing happens, or if it's only a few sentences, just have some discipline about it.

So, a month of nothing, I'm ever so proud. 

I've had loads of thoughts as well. Loads of them. Obviously I've forgotten them all now, but some of them were almost interesting, I can assure you that.

At least stuff has been done, there was a music festival, and a home town gig, then the band split up. I guess I really should have written a long and sentimental blog about letting go of something that has been a focus of your life for 5 years. That's longer than my longest relationship and I could fill all the paper in Office World (it will never be Staples) about that little nugget of experience. But, as with when most things end, I'd let go of the band long before it let go of me, so it went with a whimper and not a bang.

Then there was Edinburgh and the Fringe. So I got to spend a week standing on the patch of this planet where I feel most comfortable, and romanticised the everyday sentences in my head. I also watched a stand up comedy show on top of an extinct volcano, take that bingo card of life!

And now we're in the busiest time of my year, so it stands to reason I start blogging again, the 4 weeks that determine the path my next 9 months will take. Let's see what happens.

Brief history of £20.

Well, I didn't spend it last night. But i did take £20 out of the bank. So I'm effectively £40 down now, and it's only Day 2. Things are not looking good.

And erm, I'm off to the pub now.

Cheap flowers from a garage.

You think you haven't had a very interesting day. Then you realise you're just not looking right.

Today started before I did really. I'd cursed under my breath as my phone went off with a call and two text messages, people wanting my attention, people thinking of me and deciding they need to contact me. That's a pretty big deal really, I'd had an effect on 3 peoples lives, and all I was doing was lying face down in my own dribble whilst dreaming about being in compromising positions with the girl I saw at the bus stop last Thursday. Unfortunately, non of the messages were from her.

Then came the first challenge of the day. Well, the 2nd really, the first was going for a number two (that's slang for 'poo' kids) and having to apply a degree of concentration to make sure I finished the task completely with only the few sheets of toilet paper left. But you don't want to hear about that. So. The first challenge of the day was going to pop my wages in the bank, using one of those new fancy cash counting deposit machines that knows the difference between each note and is really just a couple of turtles inside a plastic box. Anyway. After spending time carefully budgeting how much I needed to put in the bank and how much I could keep for 'Funs Funds', I lobbed my wad (not a euphemism) into the machine and let it do its stuff. All fine and dandy apart from one pesky note that won't be accepted, must have been rude to a turtle or something. Try as a might it won't go in.

Now, I am aware that story isn't particularly interesting. But none the less, like most mundane things, it is important, as this now means I have £20 pounds, in cash, on my person, that I really shouldn't spend this week. This is going to effect every action I make for the whole week. Trying to ignore the fact it is there, trying not to think of new and exciting uses for it. Quite frankly it's going to be a blasted pain in the neck.

The sensible person would have dealt with it by seeking assistance, getting it changed, making sure some how it was given to the damn bank. But I am not a sensible person, and let's be honest, life is nothing without challenges. I shall report back how I got on.

Just now, on my way home from the shop (I bought a Mars Bar, 2 packets of Transform-A-Snack and some plain Seabrooks, I have eaten all but one pair of Transform-A-Snacks already, I may eat that as a reward when I finish this.) I saw a bunch of rotten roses trodden into the floor. I took a picture on my phone but bluetooth is not my friend today. I'm aware they probably just fell out of a bin when the Bin Men came... and by the way, you note how some feMales will complain when you say Police Man or Fire Man, yet nobody ever complains when you say Bin Man, odd I guess.. but anyway, I'm going to have some fun imagining how they might have ended up there anyway.

Obviously when I went for my second number two of the day, there was no toilet paper left.

I can feel it in my bones.

Is it possible to get old over night? As last night wore on my left leg started to ache, as has seemed to be the trend recently, I figured I'd stood on it a lot recently and there's probably moisture in the air or something so nothing too much to worry about. Then, waking up this morning , every joint on my left hand side is registering some kind of pain. 

I've even been drinking more milk recently.

Perhaps it was that vitamin pill I took the other day, it may have been out of date. Or can you overdose on potatoes? The mysteries of the human body know no bounds.

Oops.

I accidentally deleted all my saved text messages today. All the messages I've received over the last year or so that, for whatever reason, meant enough to me that I wanted to keep them to reread when I was feeling low. Gone.