Stuart Cahoon

I once had a falling out with Stuart Cahoon. I don't know what the disagreement was, where the fault lay, or whether we eventually resolved things, all I remember is how we dealt with the incident in the moments immediately after the falling out.

The playground, as playgrounds typically are, was covered in a number of lines marking out various sporting courts, pitches and zones. Mostly at right angles, but with the occasional diagonal or even curve, the different coloured lines intersected each other. Stuart chose to display his disgruntlement by walking away from me, or I think it was us, but he walked only on these lines, turning at corners, or where the lines crossed. Of course we followed him in exactly the same manner, trying to catch him by travelling crookedly and inefficiently along these arbitrary guides.

I think, after what I'd like to say was twenty minutes, but was probably nearer five, we deviated from these paths and began to walk freely about the ground to head him off at points on his journey, standing to block him only to see him turn about face and scurry away. A small part of me believes we eventually resorted to physically barging him off the lines in order to break his path, his silence and his huff. It's distinctly possible this is exactly how we brought the whole thing to an end, smiled and became mates again. I don't think it was in this case, but who knows what kids do.

I think Stuart was my best friend for several years at primary school. In my only other lasting memory of him he declares a fondness for the music of Billy Ocean, who at the time I believe is a female singer. I don't know if his name should be spelt Stuart or Stewart, Cahoon or Kahoon. I've found two on Facebook, both spelt Stuart Cahoon, both living in Ireland.

I don't think he was Irish, but he may have been.