How long has it been since I blogged?

who knows. no internet at home is a ball ache, i've found myself going to work n days off just to keep up with stuff.. not good, not at all

of course, over a week in i remember that dial up exists.. i'm slow, but i get there in the end

my 'o' key is steadily dying, it'll be gone soon, it's so lucky

everybody is going insane this week, i think maybe the sun is baking everyone's brains, perspective has gone right out of the window, problems are being created where problems do not exist, people are screaming at each other, crying, going red, heads are exploding all around us, i think i saw someone poking themself in the eye

i mean, i, of all people, understand the endless horror of being alive and having to interact each day with the hideous lumps of ridiculousness that are other human beings, life is a farce, disney filled us with so many unacheivable pressures & expectations to last through this life and the next without ever cracking a genuine smile for more than a few seconds at a time, and we do ourselves the massive favour of reminding each other of our failures to live up to these on a basis so regular we don't even notice it anymore

but why make it harder? why look for problems that simply don't exist? why lash out when there is nothing to be acheived by this than to cause someone else to strike back? why analyse a situation until we've extracted every grain of doubt and distates?

i realised recently i haven't had a raised voice argument with anyone.. well.. in years, and the only explanation i can find is that i simply can't find the energy to care about any of the meaningless crap that people argue about.. of course the downside to this is that i similarly can't find the energy to care about any of the meaningless crap that people talk to each other about.. so i'm a bit of a waste at parties.

poop, i'm gonna clean myself then go drink beer, look at boobs, and not get annoyed at anything.