right.. first up.. thanks to a small friend of mine using a partciular sentence as her msn name i've had the lyric "oh my god you must be joking me, if you think that you'll be poking me" running round and round my head for 24 hours now - which is not only annoying but largely innaccurate, because even ignoring that fact that i'm a most definately poker rather than a pokee... let's be honest, it's not a sentence i could ever really stand behind, cos all someone really has to do is ask nice, and maybe give me a cake...i'm kind like that
second up... because i know you've all missed the reports on my sleeping patterns... the nightmares are getting worse and they are getting layered, last night i 'woke up' roughly every 15minutes in fear.. though most of these were simply waking from one dream to enter another.. it was altogether a very confusing exercise which i do not hope to repeat anytime soon... any remedies greatly received.. not that i mind nightmares.. i love to be scared.. but the waking up is playing havoc with my despite to be asleep as much as humanly possible
thirdly.. and please god hopefully lastly because i'm hungry... but i've started so i'll waffle.. i've been thinking about myspace [i know, the bullet is in the gun, the barrel is in my mouth... i may eat it] and more specifically the way people use it
i'l explain.. there are 4 primary ways in which myspace can be used to communicate with your 'friends'... these being message, comment, bulletin and blog.. and they all have their individual uses, one for private messages between individuals.. one for messages to an individual that you don't mind people 'over-hearing'.. one for a message you want to send out to all your friends, and finally one where you just saying stuff and who hears it, hears it
now i've never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the box.. actually that's a complete lie, i've claimed previously to be anything from 'the oracle' to 'god' and believed it.. but that is beside the point... i'm just a simple man, but i understand the sepration between the four methods and their uses
yet it seems to be an increasing trend to use the 3rd where the 1st would have been more appropriate.. [incase you're too slow to follow... using a bulletin where it should have been a message].. i see it everyday, and everyday it bothers me.. not so much because it's a clear method of screaming 'pay me attention, do it now! wah! wah! wah!.. because hey, when i went to school it was full of 15 year old girls, so i've gotten used to that as a fact of life [also, i'm writing a myspace blog for ahabs sake, i'm not exactly averse to the culture of seeking a little attention] but more for this reason...
the 'real life' equivelant of sending a bulletin when it should have been a message is this: you walk into a public place, say a local pub, filled with your friends and associates.. the person you wish to speak to may or may not be there... regardless.. you stand on a table and proceed to shout your message.
i can't spell bulletin or equivelant
now in real life the consequences of a person taking this action or anything from large scale pointing and laughing while a few cheeky wags make that 'loopy' gesture where you twirl your finger just above your ear.. to the more extreme 'men in white coats' scenario
this is why it bothers me.
so if you see someone on your friends list commiting this offence... help them help themselves... take a picture from their profile.. write the words 'village idiot' across it, and bulletin that
everybody is a winner!
Monday, 22 January 2007
Saturday, 20 January 2007
Registered Charity No.90210
when you wake up miserable and in the certain knowledge that the thoughts running round your head will continue to keep that misery festering and jabbing at you for the next set of waking hours, the only really sensible thing is to take your glasses off and go back to sleep
if this return to oblivion means that you next wake at 2.30pm feeling groggy and confused as you wrench yourself from a dream where you were having a great msn converation with a hollywood starlett fresh from playing a side character in a remake of buffy the vampire slayer yet it was all going a bit wrong because your fingers weren't working properly and, despite her great efforts to tolerate you, she is starting to tire of the fact that you keep replying with 'rliid;ih;idh jdjpkp1 rdxsbnp [[ppihi', 'iilguewwyuguy' and 'ppoipdephi suyquywidl', and just as you're coming to an aquaintence of yours announces his intentions to 'add her'.. then so be it!
at least the misery is diminished.. i won't say gone of course because i we know the 4 noble truths of the russah are 1) life is woe, 2) the origin of woe is being awake, 3) the cessation of woe is impossible and 4) people are insufferable dicks... anyway, what was i saying? yeah, woke up feeling a little better
it's been a crazy few days in the united states of of kingdom land, it got a bit windy on thursday and, well the long and the short of it is that, everything fell over [i love commas, and the fact that when you put two of them in a sentence you can ignore the words in between and pretend there was a pause.. often reads so much better].. but yeah.. chaos, trains stopped, motorways closed, schools and businesses shutting early and sending everyone home, millions of pounds lost, people on the news screaming THE CHILDREN! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!, grown men in the street dropping to their knees in prayer and people losing faith in the construction industry left right and centre, not to mention a disappointing lack of upsurge in kite sales [does nobody watch Mary Poppins these days].. and most bizarely, the changing off all linked text on myspace to an eye burning bright red [it must be wind linked.. what else has happened?]
anyways it's over now and people can get back to pissing and moaning about our climate being slightly damp most days and them not having breakfast delivered to them each morning by a flying blue hippo with a smile that could unlock the gates to heaven itself
in other crazyness there was a conversation took place between a group of individuals who happened to be being filmed and broadcast for a reality tv show that made uncomfortable flirtings with the race line. however instead of the 'intelligent' public doing the old fashioned 'watching, listening, judging the individuals by their words and actions and then moving on with their lives' what actually happened was that hundreds of people phoned 999 to complain! "hello would you like fire, ambulance or police"... "erm, i dunno, but that girl on my tele just said a bad thing, can you come round and turn me tele off?"... "oh dear sir, i think maybe the best thing we can offer you is the sincere hope that you die in a freak accident involving a toaster and a fork".. hundreds of thousands of people complained to the tv station.. who if they had any balls at all should have issued the standard reply of "it is clear to us that you are unable to operate your remote control, or indeed have the power of free will, so allow us to give you the following instructions.. 1) lower your pants, 2) take your remote firmly in your best hand, 3) position the end of the remote at the entrance to your rectum [the smelly bit], 4) shove really hard. we hope that helps. thankyou for your feedback".... even worse than all this, there was a serious statement issued by the police that they were considering going into the house and making arrests... it's lazy to scream 1984 comparisons.. but dear lord god, do the police need the press that badly?
*breathes*
enough of this.. i must now return to the meaningless of my day to day existence... there are mind numbing tasks that i couldn't care less about to be attended to...
oh, and as people only care about blogs that reveal intimate personal details... i had sex once, it was ok
if this return to oblivion means that you next wake at 2.30pm feeling groggy and confused as you wrench yourself from a dream where you were having a great msn converation with a hollywood starlett fresh from playing a side character in a remake of buffy the vampire slayer yet it was all going a bit wrong because your fingers weren't working properly and, despite her great efforts to tolerate you, she is starting to tire of the fact that you keep replying with 'rliid;ih;idh jdjpkp1 rdxsbnp [[ppihi', 'iilguewwyuguy' and 'ppoipdephi suyquywidl', and just as you're coming to an aquaintence of yours announces his intentions to 'add her'.. then so be it!
at least the misery is diminished.. i won't say gone of course because i we know the 4 noble truths of the russah are 1) life is woe, 2) the origin of woe is being awake, 3) the cessation of woe is impossible and 4) people are insufferable dicks... anyway, what was i saying? yeah, woke up feeling a little better
it's been a crazy few days in the united states of of kingdom land, it got a bit windy on thursday and, well the long and the short of it is that, everything fell over [i love commas, and the fact that when you put two of them in a sentence you can ignore the words in between and pretend there was a pause.. often reads so much better].. but yeah.. chaos, trains stopped, motorways closed, schools and businesses shutting early and sending everyone home, millions of pounds lost, people on the news screaming THE CHILDREN! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!, grown men in the street dropping to their knees in prayer and people losing faith in the construction industry left right and centre, not to mention a disappointing lack of upsurge in kite sales [does nobody watch Mary Poppins these days].. and most bizarely, the changing off all linked text on myspace to an eye burning bright red [it must be wind linked.. what else has happened?]
anyways it's over now and people can get back to pissing and moaning about our climate being slightly damp most days and them not having breakfast delivered to them each morning by a flying blue hippo with a smile that could unlock the gates to heaven itself
in other crazyness there was a conversation took place between a group of individuals who happened to be being filmed and broadcast for a reality tv show that made uncomfortable flirtings with the race line. however instead of the 'intelligent' public doing the old fashioned 'watching, listening, judging the individuals by their words and actions and then moving on with their lives' what actually happened was that hundreds of people phoned 999 to complain! "hello would you like fire, ambulance or police"... "erm, i dunno, but that girl on my tele just said a bad thing, can you come round and turn me tele off?"... "oh dear sir, i think maybe the best thing we can offer you is the sincere hope that you die in a freak accident involving a toaster and a fork".. hundreds of thousands of people complained to the tv station.. who if they had any balls at all should have issued the standard reply of "it is clear to us that you are unable to operate your remote control, or indeed have the power of free will, so allow us to give you the following instructions.. 1) lower your pants, 2) take your remote firmly in your best hand, 3) position the end of the remote at the entrance to your rectum [the smelly bit], 4) shove really hard. we hope that helps. thankyou for your feedback".... even worse than all this, there was a serious statement issued by the police that they were considering going into the house and making arrests... it's lazy to scream 1984 comparisons.. but dear lord god, do the police need the press that badly?
*breathes*
enough of this.. i must now return to the meaningless of my day to day existence... there are mind numbing tasks that i couldn't care less about to be attended to...
oh, and as people only care about blogs that reveal intimate personal details... i had sex once, it was ok
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Silence is Golden
i think i was just dripped on.. which is quite worrying.. being inside my flat and all
i haven't blogged in a while.. but a friend posted a few questions for a school project type thing and i was gonna responed and figured it was far more blogworthy than my usual ramblings about sleeping/pooing patterns and how life is all part of an unavoidable spiral towards the void.. so why not do it here
the basics of the questions are.. this. the communication age.. all the new fangled forms of digital communication.. a good thing, or just tools that destroy social skills in The Youth Of Today
now people hold opinions on all kinds of stuff referencing this and that and applying this precident to this case and showing their take on their part of their available evidence to back up their theory... but in the end the only opinions really worth anything are those based on personal experience.. so that's the angle i can come from on that
up till the age of 18 i lived in a world, at least my world, in which digital communication was still nobody i knew owned a mobile phone or was hooked up to the internet, and myspace was still a piece of dust in the corner of toms wallet.. today my work and lifestyle means i'm online for anything up to 16hours in a day and my phone is permenantly switched on.. so there's a decent contrast to work on
now the argument is that face to face conversation is more expressive than digital communcation, easier, or at least more accurate, to read, ultimately more rewarding..that may be an argument, everyone is different etc.. but from my point of view, that's almost backwards..
i, particularly as a kid, never really 'got' face to face communication.. especially with those that you are not familiar with.. for me there was too much going on it in, too easy to misread or get confused.. too much reliance on trust and confidence that their was no hidden agenda or meaning in what was being said to you, or not said to you, or how it was being said to you.. and of course then the intense pressure to reply, instantly, with the appropriate words, nuances, intonations, expressions... eye contact!! it was a lot to deal with and 8 times out of 10 i dealt with it badly
obviously i've got better at all that since i got older and more confident.. though, whether it means anything or not it's worth noting that i started getting better around the time i also started using the internet for communication... could just be coincidence though.. i'll let the 'experts' decide
now digital communication.. from the letter writing of emails [i honestly don't see the difference between an email and a letter, except people can read when i type.. mostly] to the nearest replacement we have for physical conversation.. instant messaging.. i get... it's words and you read them.. and we have a variety of tools developed to put some mre expression into them... but there's no misleading facial expressions.. and most importantly.. no pressure.. you take what time you need to make sure that what you are saying is actually what you want to say
sure it has its failings... there will always be misunderstanding in human communication.. it's like refereeing in sports.. it's what makes it interesting.... but it's just so much easier to deal with
yes, it's more detached... but rather than feeling that it makes me more detached.. it just makes me appreciate the closeness more when physical communication takes places [not that that's an admission to liking the closeness you understand.. detached is good.. safe... beautiful]
hell.. now we have blogging.. what was the predecessor to that? standing in front of a room and telling everyone what you wanted them to know about what was going on in your head.... writing a diary in the hope that your friends would steal it and read it... nah.. this is new... and as has been demonstrated, something i'm a fan of.. but of course i am motivated purely by ego.. and the suffering of others.. so each to their own and all that
i'll probably change my mind on all that tomorrow.. it's a lot of words so i'm not reading it back now... hell.. sod itl.. argue with me... that's what communications all about isn't it? proving what you think is better than what i think? that you love me more than i love you?
or something. x
i haven't blogged in a while.. but a friend posted a few questions for a school project type thing and i was gonna responed and figured it was far more blogworthy than my usual ramblings about sleeping/pooing patterns and how life is all part of an unavoidable spiral towards the void.. so why not do it here
the basics of the questions are.. this. the communication age.. all the new fangled forms of digital communication.. a good thing, or just tools that destroy social skills in The Youth Of Today
now people hold opinions on all kinds of stuff referencing this and that and applying this precident to this case and showing their take on their part of their available evidence to back up their theory... but in the end the only opinions really worth anything are those based on personal experience.. so that's the angle i can come from on that
up till the age of 18 i lived in a world, at least my world, in which digital communication was still nobody i knew owned a mobile phone or was hooked up to the internet, and myspace was still a piece of dust in the corner of toms wallet.. today my work and lifestyle means i'm online for anything up to 16hours in a day and my phone is permenantly switched on.. so there's a decent contrast to work on
now the argument is that face to face conversation is more expressive than digital communcation, easier, or at least more accurate, to read, ultimately more rewarding..that may be an argument, everyone is different etc.. but from my point of view, that's almost backwards..
i, particularly as a kid, never really 'got' face to face communication.. especially with those that you are not familiar with.. for me there was too much going on it in, too easy to misread or get confused.. too much reliance on trust and confidence that their was no hidden agenda or meaning in what was being said to you, or not said to you, or how it was being said to you.. and of course then the intense pressure to reply, instantly, with the appropriate words, nuances, intonations, expressions... eye contact!! it was a lot to deal with and 8 times out of 10 i dealt with it badly
obviously i've got better at all that since i got older and more confident.. though, whether it means anything or not it's worth noting that i started getting better around the time i also started using the internet for communication... could just be coincidence though.. i'll let the 'experts' decide
now digital communication.. from the letter writing of emails [i honestly don't see the difference between an email and a letter, except people can read when i type.. mostly] to the nearest replacement we have for physical conversation.. instant messaging.. i get... it's words and you read them.. and we have a variety of tools developed to put some mre expression into them... but there's no misleading facial expressions.. and most importantly.. no pressure.. you take what time you need to make sure that what you are saying is actually what you want to say
sure it has its failings... there will always be misunderstanding in human communication.. it's like refereeing in sports.. it's what makes it interesting.... but it's just so much easier to deal with
yes, it's more detached... but rather than feeling that it makes me more detached.. it just makes me appreciate the closeness more when physical communication takes places [not that that's an admission to liking the closeness you understand.. detached is good.. safe... beautiful]
hell.. now we have blogging.. what was the predecessor to that? standing in front of a room and telling everyone what you wanted them to know about what was going on in your head.... writing a diary in the hope that your friends would steal it and read it... nah.. this is new... and as has been demonstrated, something i'm a fan of.. but of course i am motivated purely by ego.. and the suffering of others.. so each to their own and all that
i'll probably change my mind on all that tomorrow.. it's a lot of words so i'm not reading it back now... hell.. sod itl.. argue with me... that's what communications all about isn't it? proving what you think is better than what i think? that you love me more than i love you?
or something. x
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wll
i rode my bike
now i'm blogging about riding my bike
you gotta love the 21st century
the bike ride in brief: you can't sit down on the saddle with a dvd from blockbusters stuffed in each pocket, this puts a lot of strain on your knees in the early part, and your thighs hurt a little, it's fun to annoy drivers by switching to pavement to bypass traffic lights, i can't find my iPod, this is a shame, it's easier when you sit down after dropping off the dvds.. which may or may not have been cracked by my arse, broadgate is much shorter on a bike than on foot, there are no lights in avenham park.. this makes the road by the river very very scary, but not as scary as the hill to bank parade, my head is sweaty and my legs hurt, a shower will fix all, till the shower door falls off, mid soaping, not good
this is all i have done today, the other 23hours15mins are just filler
toodles. x
now i'm blogging about riding my bike
you gotta love the 21st century
the bike ride in brief: you can't sit down on the saddle with a dvd from blockbusters stuffed in each pocket, this puts a lot of strain on your knees in the early part, and your thighs hurt a little, it's fun to annoy drivers by switching to pavement to bypass traffic lights, i can't find my iPod, this is a shame, it's easier when you sit down after dropping off the dvds.. which may or may not have been cracked by my arse, broadgate is much shorter on a bike than on foot, there are no lights in avenham park.. this makes the road by the river very very scary, but not as scary as the hill to bank parade, my head is sweaty and my legs hurt, a shower will fix all, till the shower door falls off, mid soaping, not good
this is all i have done today, the other 23hours15mins are just filler
toodles. x
Tuesday, 9 January 2007
Prisoner Cell Block H
some days you wake up an hour after your alarm was supposed to wake you, after a night of sleep disturbed by the recurring dreams you thout you'd got shot of a while ago and you just can't bring yourself to care about anything on your to do list that day
i say some days, we all of course know that i mean, every day, but everything is reletive so let's pretend i'm a sprightly, energetic, happy go-lucky-character that usuaally bounds out of bed and shouts 'HOWDY DOODY!' to the sun, before waving to my neighbours and jigging down the road with a whistle in my voice and a spring in my step *shudders*.. well.. if i was, today i wouldn't have been
having said that i had an almost ideal day at work, i arrived in the office, sat down, and nobody else came in the room until it was time to go home, and even then it was pretty much just to say bye.. so it was almsot as if i was sat at home in my big empty flat enjoying the silencs and the absense of human conntact.. which is all good
then i did something, a triumphant thing, a thing a should have done a long time ago, a thing that will change the world, well, my world, well ok not may world, but a part of it, a small part of it, ok so it'll give me an excuse to break into a sweat most days, make me feel a little better about the chinese takeaways [i was interrupted at the begining of this sentence to collect my chinese from the door].. having said that i've been good so far this year i think this is my 2nd, maybe even 1st of 2007... anyway... maybe sort ouot a few of the sleepless nights a little
you stopped caring what i did ages ago didn't you? me too.. i bought a bike, one that has working breaks and gears and everything [fingers crossed]
let's see if i use it now shall we.. it is pretty cold...
anyway, as i said, chinese is here.
see you all tonight. x
i say some days, we all of course know that i mean, every day, but everything is reletive so let's pretend i'm a sprightly, energetic, happy go-lucky-character that usuaally bounds out of bed and shouts 'HOWDY DOODY!' to the sun, before waving to my neighbours and jigging down the road with a whistle in my voice and a spring in my step *shudders*.. well.. if i was, today i wouldn't have been
having said that i had an almost ideal day at work, i arrived in the office, sat down, and nobody else came in the room until it was time to go home, and even then it was pretty much just to say bye.. so it was almsot as if i was sat at home in my big empty flat enjoying the silencs and the absense of human conntact.. which is all good
then i did something, a triumphant thing, a thing a should have done a long time ago, a thing that will change the world, well, my world, well ok not may world, but a part of it, a small part of it, ok so it'll give me an excuse to break into a sweat most days, make me feel a little better about the chinese takeaways [i was interrupted at the begining of this sentence to collect my chinese from the door].. having said that i've been good so far this year i think this is my 2nd, maybe even 1st of 2007... anyway... maybe sort ouot a few of the sleepless nights a little
you stopped caring what i did ages ago didn't you? me too.. i bought a bike, one that has working breaks and gears and everything [fingers crossed]
let's see if i use it now shall we.. it is pretty cold...
anyway, as i said, chinese is here.
see you all tonight. x
Monday, 8 January 2007
Swings and Roundabouts
Here's a roundabout for you:
devastating it was, still - sleep eventually came and all was well for a while
today has been... average, so deeply average, so average it is pointless to blog about it, an entire non-event of a day, still.. it's been ok
and band practice was good, which always helps
righto.. i'm off to stare at a wall for a bit.
Sunday, 7 January 2007
Let's go fishing my lad.
i didn't do a blog yesterday, because it turns out i have a life [read, slept till 3, ate, went out, drank - NEVER BLOG AFTER DRINKING, THE GUSHING HONESTY WILL DESTROY US ALL - and now it's sunday] - i hope nobody cried too much, i understand what it's like to have one of the few constants in life ripped out from under you [5 days is a constant, hell i've had shorter relationships]
i was about to say i honestly can't complain about any aspect of the last 48 hours.. but then i woke up, remembered who i am and what life is and laughed at myself for forgetting that even the happiest of memories will always we be tainted in someway.. and this of course is true of the vaguely pleasant memories also
so let's start with said tainting.. 4am, bed, headed for the bliss of dreamtown, and the music starts, loud, bad music, and suddenly the realisation that i do live in a block of flats has never been more real.. but it's ok i think.. it's friday night, i'm a tolerant kind of guy.. i'll use it as an excuse to do some reading.. 5am i'm getting a bit cheesed off, but i'm english, and i can hear the other people in the flats shouting towards the noise.. so actually getting out of bed is still unlikely. 6am the moment of truth has come, i re-pant and depart to the source of the noise.. i will be manly, i will be firm.. i will make this problem go away.. turns out the source of this noise is about 7ft tall and weighing in at well over 20stone, with a fresh scar on his forehead... in a moment of absolute pride howver i manage to contain my hair-trigger bowels and make the reasonable request for less volume.. the nice megaman explains he's sorry, he thought his flat was sound-proofed and he was having a party because "i was in town today and i was stabbed, so i had to put the guy in hospital, my friends have come to cheer me up... oh, by the way.. what number do you live at?"
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
beyond that it's been a better than average weekend, an unexpected turn on friday that led me to having actual face to face conversations for.. get this.. hours.. [so proud].. i've been told i even smiled at one point, but i have no evidence to prove this and neither do you.. so i will deny it to my grave.. smiling, of course, being a sign of weakness and Rubbish Brain Syndrome. the saturday placed me with 'friends' in another city, in new bars, having conversations i have not previously had, at least in a while... entertainment.. novelty be thy name.. even better.. i managed to stop drinking at the right time, not do, say or send anything that made me a prick.. and wake up hangover free.. it's like a whole new world...
righto, the only place to go now in this blog is an honest and emotional exploration of who i am as a person at this time in my life, what my desires are and where do i go from here
so i'll stop writing.
have a great sunday.
x
i was about to say i honestly can't complain about any aspect of the last 48 hours.. but then i woke up, remembered who i am and what life is and laughed at myself for forgetting that even the happiest of memories will always we be tainted in someway.. and this of course is true of the vaguely pleasant memories also
so let's start with said tainting.. 4am, bed, headed for the bliss of dreamtown, and the music starts, loud, bad music, and suddenly the realisation that i do live in a block of flats has never been more real.. but it's ok i think.. it's friday night, i'm a tolerant kind of guy.. i'll use it as an excuse to do some reading.. 5am i'm getting a bit cheesed off, but i'm english, and i can hear the other people in the flats shouting towards the noise.. so actually getting out of bed is still unlikely. 6am the moment of truth has come, i re-pant and depart to the source of the noise.. i will be manly, i will be firm.. i will make this problem go away.. turns out the source of this noise is about 7ft tall and weighing in at well over 20stone, with a fresh scar on his forehead... in a moment of absolute pride howver i manage to contain my hair-trigger bowels and make the reasonable request for less volume.. the nice megaman explains he's sorry, he thought his flat was sound-proofed and he was having a party because "i was in town today and i was stabbed, so i had to put the guy in hospital, my friends have come to cheer me up... oh, by the way.. what number do you live at?"
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
beyond that it's been a better than average weekend, an unexpected turn on friday that led me to having actual face to face conversations for.. get this.. hours.. [so proud].. i've been told i even smiled at one point, but i have no evidence to prove this and neither do you.. so i will deny it to my grave.. smiling, of course, being a sign of weakness and Rubbish Brain Syndrome. the saturday placed me with 'friends' in another city, in new bars, having conversations i have not previously had, at least in a while... entertainment.. novelty be thy name.. even better.. i managed to stop drinking at the right time, not do, say or send anything that made me a prick.. and wake up hangover free.. it's like a whole new world...
righto, the only place to go now in this blog is an honest and emotional exploration of who i am as a person at this time in my life, what my desires are and where do i go from here
so i'll stop writing.
have a great sunday.
x
Friday, 5 January 2007
I can't wait
remember when we used to dance to songs we didn't know just cos we liked the beat? instead of just the ones we know the words to.. without that there'd be no love formed of beastie boys, no nofx, no brassy, no mad caddies, no cherry poppin' daddies and no reel big fish, amogst so many others... of course i'd never have repeatedly dislocated my knee on the dancefloor causing much pain and social embarrasment.. but y'know, rough with the smooth and all that
it's been a day of 're's so far, revalations, reminiscences and rediscoveries, which i guess isn't bad for a friday, and it meant finding some great music i'd let slip to the back of my mind... i'm considering spending the evening taking a real trip down memory lane with a cd/record/cassette/dvd alphabetising session.. though that is not perhaps the most acceptable way for a young man to spend his friday night... though it will mean i'm chomping at the bit for fun on the proper night out tomorrow.. who knows.. it's a world of freedom, anything could happen between now and bedtime.. though the odds on my finding myself in timbuctoo are probably quite long.. it's the 21st century, and if i've learnt anything from my adolecent x-files obsession it's that we can't rule such things out
i wish i was a spy.. apart from the hours of course
x
it's been a day of 're's so far, revalations, reminiscences and rediscoveries, which i guess isn't bad for a friday, and it meant finding some great music i'd let slip to the back of my mind... i'm considering spending the evening taking a real trip down memory lane with a cd/record/cassette/dvd alphabetising session.. though that is not perhaps the most acceptable way for a young man to spend his friday night... though it will mean i'm chomping at the bit for fun on the proper night out tomorrow.. who knows.. it's a world of freedom, anything could happen between now and bedtime.. though the odds on my finding myself in timbuctoo are probably quite long.. it's the 21st century, and if i've learnt anything from my adolecent x-files obsession it's that we can't rule such things out
i wish i was a spy.. apart from the hours of course
x
Thursday, 4 January 2007
You crazy kids.
so where are we now.. the optimist in me thinks i've beaten sleep by denying it's hold on me for long enough that i've spent most of this days waking hours in a semi-zombiefied state... but the realist in me understands that i'm likely to go out and indulge in a few bears this evening and with no reason to get up tomorrow i will most likely not see sunlight.. again.. returning to that oh so familiar place we all know and love by the name of 'square one', but hey, i never liked snaked and ladders much anyway
as is always the case when one shows up at work 'still' [still asleep, still drunk, still in drag] it becomes a productive day, i believe due to the fact that when you are operating on 10% mental powers you have no choice but to tunnel vision the most obvious tasks and distractions fall by the wayside, not because there aren't still time sucking face pleasing shining dancing funbeams in the corner of your eyes, but because if you turn to look at them you might fall over
as you can tell.. that 10% is diminishing
the handle to the door from my hall way to my living room has fallen off.. this means that if i at any point let that door close while i'm outside the living room the only 2 ways to access it will be to either remove the door from its frame with a slapstick style shoulder charge.. or to run up to my bedroom and abseil in.. i imagine i'll spend most of this evening out trying to make that choice by a complicated means of weighing up the mathmatics of the potential financial implications against the likely hood of broken bones and/or serious head injuries that may cause me to lie on the floor undiscovered till sunday evening... not that the idea of dying alone and uncomfortable on the kitchen floor is in itself that bad a prospect, but more it'd be a really crappy way to spend this forthcoming weeekend off
i'm gonna shower and iron a jumper
for everytime you say the word 'fat' today.. do ten sit ups before bed, tomorrow your pain will be directly proportional to your cruelness, i for one will not be able to stand up
as is always the case when one shows up at work 'still' [still asleep, still drunk, still in drag] it becomes a productive day, i believe due to the fact that when you are operating on 10% mental powers you have no choice but to tunnel vision the most obvious tasks and distractions fall by the wayside, not because there aren't still time sucking face pleasing shining dancing funbeams in the corner of your eyes, but because if you turn to look at them you might fall over
as you can tell.. that 10% is diminishing
the handle to the door from my hall way to my living room has fallen off.. this means that if i at any point let that door close while i'm outside the living room the only 2 ways to access it will be to either remove the door from its frame with a slapstick style shoulder charge.. or to run up to my bedroom and abseil in.. i imagine i'll spend most of this evening out trying to make that choice by a complicated means of weighing up the mathmatics of the potential financial implications against the likely hood of broken bones and/or serious head injuries that may cause me to lie on the floor undiscovered till sunday evening... not that the idea of dying alone and uncomfortable on the kitchen floor is in itself that bad a prospect, but more it'd be a really crappy way to spend this forthcoming weeekend off
i'm gonna shower and iron a jumper
for everytime you say the word 'fat' today.. do ten sit ups before bed, tomorrow your pain will be directly proportional to your cruelness, i for one will not be able to stand up
Wednesday, 3 January 2007
and on the third day...
what did god actually create on the third day? i think it was rock pools.. but i imagine there's a big cover up about it all
ok.. so today it all went predicatably to the wall..[last night however was pretty good.. i even spoke to people.. which was nice] i woke up 5mins before work, instead of an hour, which means my pay cheques went in after work instead of before which pretty much puts a large spike through the more adventurous ideas i had for the coming weekend off, which is a pisser, then i lost my drive and failed to tick off any one the things on my great list of jobs, plans and ideals... wasting the free part of the evening looking at backlit screens
ho hum, ho hum indeed
yet still i will not be deflated! i have a bowl full of chocolates, a weekend off and a fire in my heart.. well ok, maybe not the last thing, but it sounded good to say [of course is say my blogs out loud as i type. often with fists raised to the sky, gritted teeth and tightly closed eyes... in the WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME! manner... cos i'm kinda special]
right.. 30mins before practice.. let's order badges & posters, design a t-shirt and maybe even fall in love
ok.. so today it all went predicatably to the wall..[last night however was pretty good.. i even spoke to people.. which was nice] i woke up 5mins before work, instead of an hour, which means my pay cheques went in after work instead of before which pretty much puts a large spike through the more adventurous ideas i had for the coming weekend off, which is a pisser, then i lost my drive and failed to tick off any one the things on my great list of jobs, plans and ideals... wasting the free part of the evening looking at backlit screens
ho hum, ho hum indeed
yet still i will not be deflated! i have a bowl full of chocolates, a weekend off and a fire in my heart.. well ok, maybe not the last thing, but it sounded good to say [of course is say my blogs out loud as i type. often with fists raised to the sky, gritted teeth and tightly closed eyes... in the WHY HAVE THE GODS FORSAKEN ME! manner... cos i'm kinda special]
right.. 30mins before practice.. let's order badges & posters, design a t-shirt and maybe even fall in love
Tuesday, 2 January 2007
Day2Blog2
may as well stick to this eh?
that sleep thing gets worse before it gets better, i think it was around 6.30am when i finally fell asleep last night, then awake at 9.30am, back to sleep till 11.15am [i officially start work at 11am]... but aside from that, it's been a day of fairly pleasent moods.. a gentle introduction back into the joys of repetition and futility
and a bit of good news.. turns out i will likely have a whole weekend of work in a couple of days.. this is because i have failed at my job.. but thats an aside.. a whole weekend, january's paycheck in the bank... it would be a fools errand to waste it.. current options include UK city break, seeing if there is snow on ben nevis yet to slide downhill with 2 planks of wood strapped to my feet, or the one thats winning.. just show up at the airport friday morning and yell "what's cheap?!" - do they actually do those..super saver last second tickets? i hope they do..
the bad news of course is that all my friends are skint/married or in some other way chained to their routine... so it's either a lonesome mission, or make a new friend in the next 48hours.. mmm.. we'll see
i also did a thing, i invested in that diary that benrik do 'this diary will change your life' it's a novelty thing where they give you something to do every week, your supposed to follow it and it makes your year more interesting.. so let's have a look and i'll see if i'll be doing that
week 1: 'send your passport to benrik and we'll stamp it' - mmm, no harm in that, but i do't much like being without my passport for no reason, y'know.. just incase, but at a push, i can do this
week 2: 'knock on every door you see, if you are invited in, you must accept' - now this one, while time consuming it is, i like.. that's a world of social possibilities.. though i may end up with a reputation in my block of flats as 'that weird lad'... i'll see how brave i'm feeling next week
week 3: 'spy on your parents, find out more about them' - a worthwhile exercise, but my parents live 10miles away... so that really would be quite an effort.. unless i invest in some hi-tech gear for bugging and filming etc... which i guess could come in handy at a later date
week 4: 'paris hilton week - upload a video of you having sex [with a partner] to the internet... erm.. any volunteers? no? cos i mean, i totally would.. in for a penny and all that... really nobody? you sure?.. well thank god for that!..erm, i mean, damn... *phew*
week 5: 'join an extremist organisation and out extreme them'.. yes.. in the middle of the 'war against terror' what the hell am i supposed to do? and what are the chances it will result i me getting shot in the head on the tube... i think perhaps this experiment ends here
you never know though.. i could go mental between now and then
Where's Mavis? tonight... hope it's a good one, i'm in the right mood for once.
Happy 2nd January. x
that sleep thing gets worse before it gets better, i think it was around 6.30am when i finally fell asleep last night, then awake at 9.30am, back to sleep till 11.15am [i officially start work at 11am]... but aside from that, it's been a day of fairly pleasent moods.. a gentle introduction back into the joys of repetition and futility
and a bit of good news.. turns out i will likely have a whole weekend of work in a couple of days.. this is because i have failed at my job.. but thats an aside.. a whole weekend, january's paycheck in the bank... it would be a fools errand to waste it.. current options include UK city break, seeing if there is snow on ben nevis yet to slide downhill with 2 planks of wood strapped to my feet, or the one thats winning.. just show up at the airport friday morning and yell "what's cheap?!" - do they actually do those..super saver last second tickets? i hope they do..
the bad news of course is that all my friends are skint/married or in some other way chained to their routine... so it's either a lonesome mission, or make a new friend in the next 48hours.. mmm.. we'll see
i also did a thing, i invested in that diary that benrik do 'this diary will change your life' it's a novelty thing where they give you something to do every week, your supposed to follow it and it makes your year more interesting.. so let's have a look and i'll see if i'll be doing that
week 1: 'send your passport to benrik and we'll stamp it' - mmm, no harm in that, but i do't much like being without my passport for no reason, y'know.. just incase, but at a push, i can do this
week 2: 'knock on every door you see, if you are invited in, you must accept' - now this one, while time consuming it is, i like.. that's a world of social possibilities.. though i may end up with a reputation in my block of flats as 'that weird lad'... i'll see how brave i'm feeling next week
week 3: 'spy on your parents, find out more about them' - a worthwhile exercise, but my parents live 10miles away... so that really would be quite an effort.. unless i invest in some hi-tech gear for bugging and filming etc... which i guess could come in handy at a later date
week 4: 'paris hilton week - upload a video of you having sex [with a partner] to the internet... erm.. any volunteers? no? cos i mean, i totally would.. in for a penny and all that... really nobody? you sure?.. well thank god for that!..erm, i mean, damn... *phew*
week 5: 'join an extremist organisation and out extreme them'.. yes.. in the middle of the 'war against terror' what the hell am i supposed to do? and what are the chances it will result i me getting shot in the head on the tube... i think perhaps this experiment ends here
you never know though.. i could go mental between now and then
Where's Mavis? tonight... hope it's a good one, i'm in the right mood for once.
Happy 2nd January. x
Monday, 1 January 2007
Here we go again
what's the crack with this sleep thing! bed at 4, wake up at 8.30, realise how ridiculous it would be to get up after 270mins sleep, spend an hour of frustration trying to get back to the divine embrace of unconsciousness [made almost impossible by the constant repetition of the main riff from 99 red balloons rotating around your head - stupid music] fall back to sleep, alarm goes off at midday - snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, re-set alarm, snooze some more, turn off alarm - wake up at 3.30pm immediately pissed off at wasting almost all of the last day off work - admittedly, what were you gonna do with it anyway? nothing.. pesky miserable life
as a great yellow man just said on tv, fate has a funny sense of humour
so a little light reading has shown that, predictably if i'd engaged brain at all, is the day that everyone blogs/bullitens and posts about how they will be improving their life in 2007, and let's face it, we all have a lot of work to do.. being by and large fools, and in worrying quantities, alcoholics.. of course most of what is declared in full belief and confident prose today is merely rhetoric designed to make the hangovers and new year blues go away [what kind of civilisation ritually starts the new year wishing it could just die as collective bodies reject the poisons embibed the night before] and all the crap about self-'improvement' will have fallen by the wayside within days if not hours.. but hell, if there's anyone who understands futile exercises it's me.. so let's join in
where to begin? well, as i spent 2006 gently, steadily, and sometimes cruelly, pushing away anyone and everyone... and quite succesfully i might add *looks around* which i guess i deserve a badge for... i should probably reverse that [variety being the spice of life and all that jazz].. i shall become the all loving gravitational centre of my social world.. mmm.... or maybe i'll just start changing my clothes before they start to smell like sumo wrestlers bum cracks.. either way.. you know i'll make more effort
on a similar token it's come to my attention i've forgotten how to have fun, developed unnecasary inhibitions and a strange aloofness that really doesn't suit... so erm.. i'll find a way of fixing that too... that seems a tougher one though.. so i might wait till march to get started, do a little background reading, maybe an instructional video or two, perhaps a course of night classes - write a dissertation entitled 'fun: the having of - a case study of 21st century lower-middle class merry making'
so maybe those are the biggies.. and quite difficult to grasp at.. like jelly [ever tried picking jelly up with your hands... or even better.. watching someone else do it.. hours of entertainment!] so there's the more practical.. and cliched stuff.. the stuff that you remember doing one time that seemed to make life slightly more tolerable.. y'know, like thinking and doing... now i can't really blame 2006 exclusively for the atrophication of my brain and body... it's been a slow deliberate process that started somewhere around 1995 when i got bored of being.. y'know, active and intelligent...and of course, my mother stopped cooking my meals and a balanced diet flew out of the window faster than a really fast thing.. but i reckon it's time that all stopped.. so we'll start with the reading and learning again.. maybe try with some langauges to get the double whammy of not feeling like an arrogant, ignorant brit.. which would be good for showing off at parties and stuff... i dunno.. there'll be a ponder... there will also be some of thet fancy exercise & outdoor stuff... by the end of february i will have been cyclinh, swimming, played badminton and gone skiing.. by the end of the summer there will have been climbing [and of course abseiling], caving and i will have jumped off, or out of, something into, or onto, something - i think those are fair ambitions
i will of course eat better and drink less... but thanks to the wonder of marks & spencer half of that has already begun.. so i'm ahead that's a winner!
well what do you know it, that blog did the job, i feel a little better and more motivated.... a i am hungry though.. now where is that chinese menu... [i'll order a meal i haven't had before.. that'll be the loophole in this fatal flaw]
thanks for reading...wanna go skiing?
x
as a great yellow man just said on tv, fate has a funny sense of humour
so a little light reading has shown that, predictably if i'd engaged brain at all, is the day that everyone blogs/bullitens and posts about how they will be improving their life in 2007, and let's face it, we all have a lot of work to do.. being by and large fools, and in worrying quantities, alcoholics.. of course most of what is declared in full belief and confident prose today is merely rhetoric designed to make the hangovers and new year blues go away [what kind of civilisation ritually starts the new year wishing it could just die as collective bodies reject the poisons embibed the night before] and all the crap about self-'improvement' will have fallen by the wayside within days if not hours.. but hell, if there's anyone who understands futile exercises it's me.. so let's join in
where to begin? well, as i spent 2006 gently, steadily, and sometimes cruelly, pushing away anyone and everyone... and quite succesfully i might add *looks around* which i guess i deserve a badge for... i should probably reverse that [variety being the spice of life and all that jazz].. i shall become the all loving gravitational centre of my social world.. mmm.... or maybe i'll just start changing my clothes before they start to smell like sumo wrestlers bum cracks.. either way.. you know i'll make more effort
on a similar token it's come to my attention i've forgotten how to have fun, developed unnecasary inhibitions and a strange aloofness that really doesn't suit... so erm.. i'll find a way of fixing that too... that seems a tougher one though.. so i might wait till march to get started, do a little background reading, maybe an instructional video or two, perhaps a course of night classes - write a dissertation entitled 'fun: the having of - a case study of 21st century lower-middle class merry making'
so maybe those are the biggies.. and quite difficult to grasp at.. like jelly [ever tried picking jelly up with your hands... or even better.. watching someone else do it.. hours of entertainment!] so there's the more practical.. and cliched stuff.. the stuff that you remember doing one time that seemed to make life slightly more tolerable.. y'know, like thinking and doing... now i can't really blame 2006 exclusively for the atrophication of my brain and body... it's been a slow deliberate process that started somewhere around 1995 when i got bored of being.. y'know, active and intelligent...and of course, my mother stopped cooking my meals and a balanced diet flew out of the window faster than a really fast thing.. but i reckon it's time that all stopped.. so we'll start with the reading and learning again.. maybe try with some langauges to get the double whammy of not feeling like an arrogant, ignorant brit.. which would be good for showing off at parties and stuff... i dunno.. there'll be a ponder... there will also be some of thet fancy exercise & outdoor stuff... by the end of february i will have been cyclinh, swimming, played badminton and gone skiing.. by the end of the summer there will have been climbing [and of course abseiling], caving and i will have jumped off, or out of, something into, or onto, something - i think those are fair ambitions
i will of course eat better and drink less... but thanks to the wonder of marks & spencer half of that has already begun.. so i'm ahead that's a winner!
well what do you know it, that blog did the job, i feel a little better and more motivated.... a i am hungry though.. now where is that chinese menu... [i'll order a meal i haven't had before.. that'll be the loophole in this fatal flaw]
thanks for reading...wanna go skiing?
x
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