Here we go again

what's the crack with this sleep thing! bed at 4, wake up at 8.30, realise how ridiculous it would be to get up after 270mins sleep, spend an hour of frustration trying to get back to the divine embrace of unconsciousness [made almost impossible by the constant repetition of the main riff from 99 red balloons rotating around your head - stupid music] fall back to sleep, alarm goes off at midday - snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, re-set alarm, snooze some more, turn off alarm - wake up at 3.30pm immediately pissed off at wasting almost all of the last day off work - admittedly, what were you gonna do with it anyway? nothing.. pesky miserable life

as a great yellow man just said on tv, fate has a funny sense of humour

so a little light reading has shown that, predictably if i'd engaged brain at all, is the day that everyone blogs/bullitens and posts about how they will be improving their life in 2007, and let's face it, we all have a lot of work to do.. being by and large fools, and in worrying quantities, alcoholics.. of course most of what is declared in full belief and confident prose today is merely rhetoric designed to make the hangovers and new year blues go away [what kind of civilisation ritually starts the new year wishing it could just die as collective bodies reject the poisons embibed the night before] and all the crap about self-'improvement' will have fallen by the wayside within days if not hours.. but hell, if there's anyone who understands futile exercises it's me.. so let's join in

where to begin? well, as i spent 2006 gently, steadily, and sometimes cruelly, pushing away anyone and everyone... and quite succesfully i might add *looks around* which i guess i deserve a badge for... i should probably reverse that [variety being the spice of life and all that jazz].. i shall become the all loving gravitational centre of my social world.. mmm.... or maybe i'll just start changing my clothes before they start to smell like sumo wrestlers bum cracks.. either way.. you know i'll make more effort

on a similar token it's come to my attention i've forgotten how to have fun, developed unnecasary inhibitions and a strange aloofness that really doesn't suit... so erm.. i'll find a way of fixing that too... that seems a tougher one though.. so i might wait till march to get started, do a little background reading, maybe an instructional video or two, perhaps a course of night classes - write a dissertation entitled 'fun: the having of - a case study of 21st century lower-middle class merry making'

so maybe those are the biggies.. and quite difficult to grasp at.. like jelly [ever tried picking jelly up with your hands... or even better.. watching someone else do it.. hours of entertainment!] so there's the more practical.. and cliched stuff.. the stuff that you remember doing one time that seemed to make life slightly more tolerable.. y'know, like thinking and doing... now i can't really blame 2006 exclusively for the atrophication of my brain and body... it's been a slow deliberate process that started somewhere around 1995 when i got bored of being.. y'know, active and intelligent...and of course, my mother stopped cooking my meals and a balanced diet flew out of the window faster than a really fast thing.. but i reckon it's time that all stopped.. so we'll start with the reading and learning again.. maybe try with some langauges to get the double whammy of not feeling like an arrogant, ignorant brit.. which would be good for showing off at parties and stuff... i dunno.. there'll be a ponder... there will also be some of thet fancy exercise & outdoor stuff... by the end of february i will have been cyclinh, swimming, played badminton and gone skiing.. by the end of the summer there will have been climbing [and of course abseiling], caving and i will have jumped off, or out of, something into, or onto, something - i think those are fair ambitions

i will of course eat better and drink less... but thanks to the wonder of marks & spencer half of that has already begun.. so i'm ahead that's a winner!

well what do you know it, that blog did the job, i feel a little better and more motivated.... a i am hungry though.. now where is that chinese menu... [i'll order a meal i haven't had before.. that'll be the loophole in this fatal flaw]

thanks for reading...wanna go skiing?

x