Registered Charity No.90210

when you wake up miserable and in the certain knowledge that the thoughts running round your head will continue to keep that misery festering and jabbing at you for the next set of waking hours, the only really sensible thing is to take your glasses off and go back to sleep

if this return to oblivion means that you next wake at 2.30pm feeling groggy and confused as you wrench yourself from a dream where you were having a great msn converation with a hollywood starlett fresh from playing a side character in a remake of buffy the vampire slayer yet it was all going a bit wrong because your fingers weren't working properly and, despite her great efforts to tolerate you, she is starting to tire of the fact that you keep replying with 'rliid;ih;idh jdjpkp1 rdxsbnp [[ppihi', 'iilguewwyuguy' and 'ppoipdephi suyquywidl', and just as you're coming to an aquaintence of yours announces his intentions to 'add her'.. then so be it!

at least the misery is diminished.. i won't say gone of course because i we know the 4 noble truths of the russah are 1) life is woe, 2) the origin of woe is being awake, 3) the cessation of woe is impossible and 4) people are insufferable dicks... anyway, what was i saying? yeah, woke up feeling a little better

it's been a crazy few days in the united states of of kingdom land, it got a bit windy on thursday and, well the long and the short of it is that, everything fell over [i love commas, and the fact that when you put two of them in a sentence you can ignore the words in between and pretend there was a pause.. often reads so much better].. but yeah.. chaos, trains stopped, motorways closed, schools and businesses shutting early and sending everyone home, millions of pounds lost, people on the news screaming THE CHILDREN! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!, grown men in the street dropping to their knees in prayer and people losing faith in the construction industry left right and centre, not to mention a disappointing lack of upsurge in kite sales [does nobody watch Mary Poppins these days].. and most bizarely, the changing off all linked text on myspace to an eye burning bright red [it must be wind linked.. what else has happened?]

anyways it's over now and people can get back to pissing and moaning about our climate being slightly damp most days and them not having breakfast delivered to them each morning by a flying blue hippo with a smile that could unlock the gates to heaven itself

in other crazyness there was a conversation took place between a group of individuals who happened to be being filmed and broadcast for a reality tv show that made uncomfortable flirtings with the race line. however instead of the 'intelligent' public doing the old fashioned 'watching, listening, judging the individuals by their words and actions and then moving on with their lives' what actually happened was that hundreds of people phoned 999 to complain! "hello would you like fire, ambulance or police"... "erm, i dunno, but that girl on my tele just said a bad thing, can you come round and turn me tele off?"... "oh dear sir, i think maybe the best thing we can offer you is the sincere hope that you die in a freak accident involving a toaster and a fork".. hundreds of thousands of people complained to the tv station.. who if they had any balls at all should have issued the standard reply of "it is clear to us that you are unable to operate your remote control, or indeed have the power of free will, so allow us to give you the following instructions.. 1) lower your pants, 2) take your remote firmly in your best hand, 3) position the end of the remote at the entrance to your rectum [the smelly bit], 4) shove really hard. we hope that helps. thankyou for your feedback".... even worse than all this, there was a serious statement issued by the police that they were considering going into the house and making arrests... it's lazy to scream 1984 comparisons.. but dear lord god, do the police need the press that badly?

*breathes*

enough of this.. i must now return to the meaningless of my day to day existence... there are mind numbing tasks that i couldn't care less about to be attended to...

oh, and as people only care about blogs that reveal intimate personal details... i had sex once, it was ok